Pulled the trigger with my tongue


can’t take it back

tapped the roof of my mouth
to see if it was still there
should have known i shot my nerves numb
when i couldn’t feel the tears down my face

moved my head to change the scenery
as our hair whispered in the dark
tried counting to one,
then three,
then ten,

before voices filled the blank spaces
ripping me away from her
like pulling a cut’s sides apart

start the count over
fail again
like ants crawling inside my bones
eating away at the marrow,
taking my thoughts away,
in the stupor of leftover love

tried counting
to twelve,
to fifteen,
growing away every step
before hair whispers bring me back
will i know when to stop?

tried counting
and again

until reflex
took the chance
pulled her close
and everything became soft
got to 73
before i fell asleep next to her
it may not have been a hundred
but it was a good start


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