Silence

Was just looking at pictures
looking, looking…
at lines, curves, colour;
folding, stopping, shifting
faster
until the rest of me goes

want to let it go
but second nature is one cunning, cheating bitch

my eyes close and you come
just to sit in the space they made for you
you look down into the space between your fingers
and take a deep, wet breath
then turn to me, looking for my eyes
“why? why?” you scream in silence
“OH, WHY?!”

but you’re not angry at yourself anymore
no fear of loss

lines and colour
change and rearrange
and i wished it looked like us
around the world
climbing to the top just so we can sit on it
always once upon a time
it isn’t us

so why this now?
why do i let myself?

machine noises mix with the chirping of birds and morning sounds
like sweat mixing at the apex of a half-lit embrace
metallic moans without a face
a song without name
and we knew the ending
before it began

well, i did

despite your cries
loud as they were bitter
wishful thinking
drowning your eyes in sorrow
but your thoughts were louder

and you used to say i was magical
yeah, i had a trick or two
still do

would i have it that i don’t
when memories just hurt
promises hurt much worse

the sound of engines enter my room
noise pollution
light begins colouring the carpet
soon it’ll spread and
there won’t be any space
for the nauseating stench of violence
to hide in the vacuum of night

shut the window

listen to your thoughts slice clean through the silence

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