Kapustita

Today I miss you,
with a hunger behind my eyes
and your name nested in my throat
longing to come out..
tired
I am, too
my heart grows
like melancholic cancer cells
when the sickness settles in

and this hunger
won’t go away
where can it go, but back where it came from?
this hunger for your nearness
and the sound of your smile breaking into laughter
the familiar hum of our naked bodies
synchronized to the last hair
the sensual calm of our joined breath
and the absolute perfection of your kisses

you were light
I was warmth
together we made fire
held our breath, suffocated
leaves burning bright red

you used to say fall was hard for us
you used to say…
my name in such a delicate way
we used to say so much
couldn’t keep our heads above water
sickness comes and my brain aches
thoughts twisted
memories abandoned
and this hunger
that won’t go away

open water prayers
cliffside music for lost thoughts
tireless motion, searching
for any sign of connection
but my feet won’t fly me to heaven
if my heart can’t sing
like it did when my name danced on your lips

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